Bring the light

Chemo # 3 ......went well ....had a group of wonderful great ladies pamper me all the way through it. They made it so easy. Then I had my dinner provided for me by a super couple. I had a good day. I feel the effect of chemo coming on but that is ok....that just said chemo is working..... It was really tough to get my mind ready this time more because I am starting to feel the fatigue and I really no that is not me. God is doing a work in my heart and transforming in every area of my life to be the woman he has made me to be.....so believe it or not I am thanking God for this season. I see how sweet he is and how he uses people to encourage ,hold me up ,make me laugh, love me and on and on. Bring me his light in actions. love this. God is good. I want to be a person God will use to bring his light into the world.

I feel good strong getting ready for the #3 chemo. I have been thinking ....I am sure God is showing me I have been getting water from a dry well . Meaning for years I think I have been going to get water from a well that had no water and then being frustrated when it didnt work. Its like getting frustrated with people when they dont met your expectation when they are just doing the best they can. I choose different. this is a hard post but i want to remember this. I feel God turning my head in a different direction. I got to let go and only go to God for the living water.True I am open to your leading God I will follow you. I love you with my whole heart soul and mind. Show me the path I will follow you. Thank you God!

Immanuel

What a week, I feel today is the first day I feel relatively normal. Still tired but good. My blood work came back that I was anemic. Being tired is normal then. I am amazed how much my body can take and still work. I am amazed at how much I like to sleep. But of course I am amazed at God and his sweet comfort during my chemo week. Thank you God Immanuel

Doesn't change I am his!

I would say chemo #2 was less physically and more mentally. I physically had a pretty easy time except for tired but other than that as long as I took my pills I was fine. Couldnt walk very much but my energy level was lower. However this hit me more mentally like I was a lost puppy trying not to get hit by the cars but not finding home. I think this stuff is often overwhelming ....I mean bald head , can't walk more than a block, feeling like if I eat the wrong stuff or to much I will feel that feeling again and then the dr appointment, bills and all that. It is just overwhelming mentally. Today I have a lot of peace but I think that is where God is bring meto......a peace this world can't take away and I am not willing to give it up. You see I am stuck on this "naked and unashamed." Meaning just being me in this moment and knowing that beyond a doubt and no matter what the world throws my way, I am still God's child and he loves me completely right now bald head , bills, chemo, negative thinking and all the junk. Doesn't change, I am his! Got to love that what else do I need ....nothing today.

Chemo #2 it's all good

Chemo #2 done ...I am half way done with my chemo adventure. Things went well and I had some great visitors that kept me laughing. Then I came home and had a meal deliver by a great cook. Really can't get better than that for a cancer ride. My energy level is down but really I not planning on doing much for the next week. I have really been thinking about this body God gave me. Over the years I have pushed, yelled, been very critical of it, feed it crap,tried not to give it too much and tried to make it into something more (or less really) than it is. I really haven't been to kind to it. Yet today I expect it to take the chemo, let it kill the fast growing cells and then start regenerating those good cells. My body is amazing( I know that sounds weird). Really God has made us all wonderfully, we are masterpieces.  Read psalms 139 if you want to know more.So as I put lotion on my bald head to help my skin , I made a decision to do everything possible to help my body fight this fight,be thankful for what it can do and to let go of this image that has haunted me all these years. I know it's a tall order but I believe God is definitely the creator of this plan. So it is all good.